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Help Children Who Bully

How It Feels to be Bullied
How It Feels to be Bullied, Cassie, age 14


Possible signs of being a bully (Olweus, 1993)
(These are not sure signs of a child being a bully. A child may be or may not be a bully even if they do or do not fit into these categories.)
· The child teases repeatedly in a nasty way
· Along with teasing there is pushing, kicking, excluding, hitting, and damaging of belongings of defenseless students
· Physically stronger than their classmates
· Desires to dominate or subdue other children
· Are hot-tempered and easily angered
· Oppositional and defiant to adults and may even frighten adults
· Seen by other students as tough and show little empathy for victimized students
· Not anxious or insecure and generally have a positive view of themselves
· Engage in anti-social behavior at an early age
· Have support from at least a small number of students in the class

Tips for parents of kids who bully (Olweus, 1993)
· Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously and you will not tolerate any such behavior in the future
· Work with your child in developing a set of family rules that have specific punishment, excluding corporal punishment, for breaking the rules and appropriate praise and appreciation for following the rules.
· Since bullying occurs when adults are not around or when they are not aware of what the children are doing, you should get to know who your child's friends are, what they are doing, and spend time with the child.
· Develop common positive experiences between you and your child and learn more about your child's personality in order to gain the trust of your child. This will lead to your child being more inclined to listen to you.
Help your child develop positive talents such as sports (football, ice hockey, soccer) to enable them to use their aggression and strength in a positive way and learn teamwork.

Additional resources:
For more parents' resources on the topic of bullying, see our Resources section.