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Have I Been Raped? Definitions and Clarifications
Rape/Sexual Assault is defined as one or more of the following: forced sexual intercourse, attempted unwanted sexual penetration, unwanted sexual penetration (unwanted = person did not give consent). Rape can be an act of verbal coercion, threats, physical restraint and/or physical violence; however, not all rapes are violent and aggressive. Rape is not about sex, it is about power.
What is Acquaintance or Date Rape?
Acquaintance Rape is forced, manipulated or coerced sexual intercourse by a friend or an acquaintance. Acquaintance rape can happen anywhere, at anytime, to anyone. Studies show that acquaintance rape occurs more frequently among college students, particularly freshman, than in any other age group. In one survey, 1 in 2 college women report being a survivor of some form of sexual aggression. 1 in 4 women were survivors of rape or attempted rape. 84% of their assailants were dating partners or acquaintances. The same survey found that 1 in 4 college men admitted having used sexual aggression with women. Because acquaintance rape is often not reported, the true scope of the problem is difficult to determine. (More statistics are available under "Statistics and Facts section)
Standard of Consent
The standard of sexual consent at Kalamazoo College includes the following:
Mutual consent must be expressed by words, actions, or gestures.
No one who has been threatened or coerced can consent.
No person who has been given alcohol or drugs through deception or without their knowledge may give consent.
No person who is physically helpless, impaired by alcohol, or being in a state of diminished judgment may consent.
Silence or non-communication must never be interpreted as consent.
Consent may be withdrawn at any time during the course of a sexual encounter.
Failure to respect a withdrawal of consent is improper sexual conduct
Surviving Sexual Assault
What am I feeling?
You might feel frightened, outraged, powerless, ashamed, dirty, vulnerable, violated, shocked, or disbelieving, thinking that it didn't really happen. You may have trouble concentrating and experience loss of appetite, depression or nightmares. You may find that your lifestyle is disrupted and wonder if it will ever return to normal. You may be afraid to leave your house and find it difficult to trust anyone. You may wonder what others think and believe that no one could possibly understand how you feel. All of these reactions are common and natural.
What about my family and friends?
Your family and friends will be struggling with feelings of their own. But some of them may not be able to talk with you about the assault, your feelings or theirs. They may mistakenly blame you or themselves for the assault. They may want to be protective and make decisions for you, or they may avoid closeness. Understanding the feelings of your family and friends does not mean that you must take responsibility for helping them cope with their feelings, especially when you need to be dealing with your own.
(Information copied from a Sexual Assault Information Network handout featuring information developed by the Los Angeles Commission of Assaults Against Women)
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