BUZZKILL: Students Gamble With Tuition

McDonald: Attending Monte Carlo Means Taking a Gamble 

By Sarah Wallace

Hand over Fist: Students gamble away their tuition money at Kalamazoo College’s Annual Monte Carlo event. One student remarked “It’s my money, I’ll use it when I need it.”

At 6:00 A.M., the Monday morning before the College’s yearly Monte Carlo event, masses of upset Kalamazoo students and parents crowded outside of the President’s Office. Their enraged outcries and snowball throwing were a result of the recent announcement about next year’s rise in tuition costs. The riot has spurred action in acting President Mickey McDonald.

It was the President’s solution to the infuriating emails and letters to announce that Monte Carlo will now be an opportunity for students to gamble real money to pay off their tuition.

The solution was one that President McDonald had been discussing with faculty and administrative staff since the beginning of his service as President.

Monte Carlo is already a well-attended event, yet President McDonald predicts that even more students will be eager to come and gamble. She understands that gambling can be a cathartic experience.

“Just like there is an alcoholic in all of us, there is a gambler in all of us, too,” said the President. “And I think it is one of the College’s duty’s to satisfy this primal desire.”

On the night of Monte Carlo, the Hicks Center will take on the atmosphere of a true casino. New games will be added, and will include Wheel of Fortune, Keno, Roulette and Craps. The student ID will soon become the student’s most valuable item.

The student ID will be programmed to include all of the student’s financial information. At each casino game, there will be an electronic card swiper. This device will record the amount of money that has been lost or earned. Each student will start with the tuition amount they have paid off that year, in the hopes of paying off next year’s tuition.

This means the student card will take on a new worth. It will become like a laundry card in the way that if you lose it, it cannot be replaced, and all of the money on it, too, will be erased.

The President advises that students do not attend the event drunk, for the possibility that drunken college students will not be smart gamblers.

Students will be gambling at their own risk and could end up owing the College more than their original tuition.

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